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2 Years All Ready?

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Apr. 8th, 2010 | 01:41 pm

I'm home alone right now, and for whatever reason I was drawn to my Live Journal and actually felt like updating it.

So much has gone on in the last two years that I don't really know where to begin. Lately, however, I've been reflecting on my life and considering the choices I've made that put me in the position I'm in today. Rereading all my old entries was pretty fun, though there was a lot to go through, and it brought back some fond memories and reaffirmed that the life I live today is so much better than the life I once had. Although, there are definitely parts of that life I wish I still had. Namely, passion for something.

About...oh I guess 4 years ago, I was introduced to World of Warcraft. It consumed my life. Everything I did was about WoW. Every moment I had I was either logged in, or raiding, doing runs, reading about, or leveling characters. I stopped making games, even writing music, and for so long that's what my life was about.

Then I met Laura. WoW time became less and less and we spent more and more time together. Eventually she moved in and I found myself doing the things that were necessary to move forward to build a life together. We just celebrated our 2nd anniversary which outshoots any other relationship I've had in the past. Though we had some rough times, things right now are awesome between us. I couldn't be happier, and I truly feel that she is the person I will spend the rest of my life with.

So the WoW addiction is broken. My account has been canceled for months and I really have no desire to ever go back. It was a lot of fun and I met some wonderful people. The highlight for me, really, was having something to do with my brother as we used to play together. He still plays, but now we work together and that gives us something else to have in common.

Work. Yep, I have a real man's job now. For years my panic and anxiety prevented me from going to work at a normal place. I tried lots of things to help finance myself and contribute to my household but nothing was really consistent. I got into internet marketing about a year ago, and have found some success with it. However, it wasn't consistent, and I never knew from month to month what I would make.

With Laura's help, I took the steps I needed to take in order to overcome my anxiety. Mostly, I think it was the hurdles thrown at us that I had no choice but to deal with, get over myself, so that I could be a better boyfriend for her at a time when she needed it the most. I was proud of myself, I AM proud of myself, for being able to do these things that 5 years ago would have been out of the question. It's a long story, but there was awhile there where Laura's family drama was out of control. It was a strain to her, to me, her entire family and our relationship. Unfortunately, though things haven't necessarily worked out the way we all would have liked, there is a sense of resolution, and acceptance to move on and make better lives for each other, even if those lives don't include certain family members anymore.

At any rate, my brother helped me to get a job with him at a grocery store and I'm enjoying it a lot. The work is really physical, but I love it. I feel the most in shape I have been in a really long time, and that makes me feel better about myself. The only thing I don't like about the job is you get the random pissed off customer who has had a really bad day or something, and feels the need to take it out on you. Although annoying, I don't take it personally and can move on pretty easily.

I'm still doing a bit of internet marketing on the side, but it's no longer my soul source of income. Now I have a steady paycheck, and anything I make it from it is a bonus, which is nice. Certainly less pressure and I know Laura feels much better about the whole deal.

I also had an incredible amount of dental work done, including oral surgery. It was a really neat experience actually. I remember being extremely nervous going into the OR, then a little mask was put on my face and the next thing I know I'm waking up in recovery. It took about 2 weeks before I was eating solids again, but well worth it. I had 7 teeth pulled altogether. 3 bad molars and my 4 wisdom teeth. Fun times. :P

The rest got restored, and I now have a smile again. It's given me a lot of confidence, and although expensive, will be paid off by August which has me really excited.

My grandmother also passed away this year. Although she has in and out of hospital for years, it actually came as quite a shock. She had been doing so well, then one day out of the blue I get a phone call from my Mom telling me that my Grandmother had a heart attack and passed away. I was at home with my brother at the time and Laura was at work. I remember telling him the news and he was in just as much disbelief as I was. I took a bit for it to sink in, and at times it still feels like she's still here.

I was okay with it, until Laura got home. Then as I was telling her what happened, I guess it hit me cause I just broke down. The saddest part was my 3 year old nephew asking for her and my sister (his mom) having to tell him that she went away. I guess at 3 you won't remember these things, or really understand what's going on, it was just really sad when he asked for her.

In other news, I've reconnected with my father whom I hadn't spoken with in I think 5 years or so. Laura and I even went down to visit him, my step-mom and my two sisters who I knew next to nothing about. We're all now facebook friends and we keep in touch that way. My Dad took Laura for a ride on his Harley and now she wants one. :P Motorcycles really aren't my thing, but Laura has always enjoyed far more adventorous things than I have.

At any rate, it's been good to get back in touch. Considering how the...silence, I guess you would call it, was based all on a misunderstanding that just lasted far too long. I've had "Daddy Issues" for awhile, and it's been nice to finally address them.

Anyway, this is really long, and there was more I thought I would write about, but that's basically my life right now. Still happy and in a relationship. Working hard, and finally getting my life on track.

See you in two years. ;P

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Comments {2}

righteous_twist

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from: righteous_twist
date: Apr. 8th, 2010 09:34 pm (UTC)
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SEAN!!!!!! I'm so glad things are going well for you! I miss you! <3333333

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The Breadbrother

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from: egometry
date: Apr. 9th, 2010 08:35 am (UTC)
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Rysen!

No come back and hang out and stuff :(

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